This Is Dave Place

In The End

Someone told me recently that they lost a friend who was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 4, and died a few days ago at the age of 12. There are few things that slap you in the face harder than death. It causes you to question a lot of things about life. I think that those questions are important and often overlooked.

Look, I know you are stressed about school or work or awkward friendships or a dysfunctional family or that habit that you can’t get away from or all of the other little day-to-day problems that fill your life. But sometimes you just have to drop the problems and bask in the feeling of one simple question. In the end, what truly matters? Man I love that question. I even wrote a song about it (I’ll let you guess the title). The question digs deep into your heart like a shovel and plants itself there, I like the feeling it gives me. My palms sweat a little and my stomach sinks and I think to myself, what am I stressing about and what am I living for?

I don’t want to answer that question for you. I don’t want to tell you what to think or what to believe. But I’m sure that that boy who was diagnosed with cancer before he even knew what cancer was could have told you what life should be about. Don’t continue to keep yourself too busy to ask yourself about what truly matters in your life. It is one of those questions in which the answer is truly worth living for. Don’t wait.

Self Discipline = Learning To Like What You Hate

To me, self discipline and long-run thinking are synonymous. You need to have self discipline if you want to achieve your long-term goals. And those goals don’t have to be outward achievements, they can deal with health, love, faith, happiness, etc.

Part of disciplining yourself to work toward your goals is to learn to like things that you generally wouldn’t like. Another way of putting it is learning to shut up and deal. An easy example is food/health. Sure we all like cookies and cake, but if you want to lose weight or be healthier, you learn to eat more fruits and vegetables instead. Another example, a personal example for me, is learning how to deal with long distance relationships. People ask, “Isn’t it hard having a long distance relationship? How do you deal with it?” I just shut up and deal. I realize that my dream job means I travel all the time, so if I want any type of relationship, it’s going to be a long distance one. I can’t escape that, so I may as well teach myself to like it.

And the cool part about dealing with things that you don’t like is that you end up learning to accept them. They become a part of your life. I’ve been touring the country for over 3 years now, so the annoying parts about touring don’t even phase me anymore. I don’t even remember the things that I disliked about touring because it is so a part of me at this point. You see, if it is all you know, it is hard to hate. If you just decide to start exercising everyday, you will eventually learn to like it because it will be your life. It will be a part of you. I can’t imagine not having a long distance relationship at this point because it just wouldn’t fit in with my life.

The first step for you is to really figure out what you want in this life and figure out if it is worth the parts that are hard to deal with. Is getting good grades really worth all the stress and hassle it takes to do the homework? Is getting a good career really worth 4 more years of school? Is becoming a rockstar really worth feeling like a broke, homeless person for years? (Yes). If it falls into play with your long term goals than it is definitely worth it.

Usually I like to write about you being happy. But this isn’t about you being happy today, it’s about you being happy for the long run. It takes self discipline to see past the things you dislike in search of finding the things that will make your life fulfilling and truly blessed. Deal.

It Comes Full Circle

We played a show outside of Detroit tonight and I got to talk to a fan about our band and this blog. She told me how much our music and these words have helped her through some hard, hard times.

I got a letter from a fan last night that read, “You help me keep my sanity and my faith in times I feel like I’m losing them.” When we are on tour now I get to hear from people face-to-face that we are helping them get through life.

And that is Powerful.

Those are the moments where I just want to pinch myself and say, “It is happening.” Time just seems to stop and nothing else matters because it is at those times I am reminded that this is why I am alive. This is why I matter. So thank you to those who let me know that what we do is helping you. Hearing that helps Me keep going. It helps Me continue to do what I do. The whole thing comes full circle as the inspirer becomes inspired. And as we all live together, we can continue to inspire each other and remind each other of why we all matter. Powerful stuff.

Thank you to the girl who talked to me tonight and gave me a reason to write this all down.

Takes A Jerk To Know One

I will almost always write deep thoughts or advice on here, but today I wanted to do something random.

I wanted to say that I try to be a good influence on others, but this week I’ve been feeling like haven’t been. I broke someone’s heart badly. A girl that I have grown to love over the last two years. It sounds cheesy but it is not. She has been my best friend and my muse. I hate talking about my personal life but I just wanted to say I’m sorry to her and I’m sorry to you all. I’m not going to get into details but I will say that I messed up terribly and I feel like a horrible person by my own standards. i feel like that Used song “I’m A Fake”

I know I just recently talked about authenticity, so I just wanted to put my money where my mouth is and be as real as possible with you guys. I guess the lesson here is that everyone makes mistakes. Part of being human is screwing up. I feel a lot more human than I usually do.

There is “Good” in Everyone

This is going to be one of my favorite posts. I’m excited to write it, and for you to read it.

A famous preacher named Rob Bell from Michigan wrote a book called Velvet Elvis a while back. In the book, he says that he believes that you can find “Jesus” in everything and everyone. Now I know that not everyone reading this believes in God or Jesus and I’m sure that some of you are completely turned off by those words. So instead of using the word Jesus, I will use the neutral word “Good”. Because Good is simple, friendly and universal. (Christians, take away an “O”, non-Christians, leave it as “Good”. Cool? Cool!)

I really like the thought of being able to find the Good in everyone. It’s really nice. But I want to say that my thoughts on this aren’t as cheesy as they sound. I swear! Just hear me out…

Take a guy like Eminem. Eminem is one of the most famous American musicians of all time. He’s sold tens of millions of albums. He’s spent the last decade selling out arenas. He is so big, that the spell-check on my computer knew his name. Anyway… Eminem proclaims in his songs that he is hated by middle-class parents all over America. And I’m sure he is right. A lot of parents can’t stand Eminem! They think his music is out-spoken, angry, negative, rude, malicious, hateful, obscene, and just plain wrong. They think it is “Bad”. But as Rob Bell said, How could someone created by God not have God inside of him? I know why people hate Eminem, but personally I think he is a genius. I think Eminem is wise, witty, realistic, and honest. Think about the many Christian and non-Christian musicians and speakers who are so clean on stage, but are terrible people in real life. These people live lives that aren’t authentic and aren’t Good, but they claim to that they are real and true. They lie to themselves and lie to everyone else. Now take a guy like Eminem. Tell me, who is more real and authentic than that guy? He admits that he’s crazy, that he’s abusive, that he had a very troubled upbringing, that he is a menace to society, and that he is very far from a perfect father, a perfect son, and a perfect person in general. That’s real. That’s Good.

I’m sorry to have shoved Eminem down your throat and I don’t mean to overly glorify the guy, but to me he is a great example of a “bad” person who truly has a lot of “Good” in him. Think of the worst person on earth and you can still find good. Because, though we are all flawed humans, we still have Good inside of us. All you have to do to see the Good in someone else is take the blinders off and truly look for Good. Stop looking for all the bad! Look for Good. One more example, Intelligence is a Good trait to have, right? It’s never considered a bad trait. The most “evil” of people are usually the most intelligent. Hitler, Stalin, Attila the Hun, all highly intelligent individuals. I’m not saying we should give these guys a break. We all know that they were terrible human beings. All I’m saying is that I’m sure somewhere, no matter how minuscule, we could find the “Good”, the “Jesus” in anyone.

That is all. Have a Good day.

Don’t Ever Take Life Too Seriously

The people that know me well may tell you that I am a pretty serious guy. But the people that know me best will tell you that I have a very dry, awkward, and sarcastic underlying humor to everything I say and everything I think. People often comment on my morals or my positive attitude, but few comment on my sense of humor. I’m ok with that, because I know that I don’t have to be that outwardly funny all the time, as long as I know that inside I am not taking anything too seriously.

I hear a lot about people having very depressing and very dark thoughts. Often in our lives, we come to the realization that life can really suck. Life Sucks. We have broken hearts, bruised egos, terrible family relationships, boring jobs, crushed ambitions, and none of us feel like we are good enough. We just want to veg out on our couches while the mountain of stuff we have to accomplish and people we have to talk to gets bigger and bigger and bigger. And the whole time we are so worried, so depressed, so stressed, and so ………… AHHH! Just so annoyed at everything.

See, this is a good time to realize that life is meant to be lived humorously. Find the humor in all of it. Even in the messed up stuff, just laugh at it. I have come to the realization that everyone is insane in their own way. We all are messed up. You. Me. My friends. Your family. All of us, screwed up. So take every day with a grain of salt. Don’t let it all bother you. Just laugh, just find more stuff funny. I say this because most things are funnier than you think they are. And if you don’t believe me, just watch some comedians point stuff out that you generally wouldn’t find funny (they are usually good at that).

I’ll give you an example in my life. If I’m taking a test for school and I get a good grade, I laugh to myself and think, “Done son”. If I take a test and I fail, I laugh to myself and think, “Well that blows”. Either way, I’m smiling because a part of me thinks its funny. The successes and the failures both have a place in this humorous ride we call Life. So live laughing.

As one highly intuitive philosopher once put it, “Why so serious?”

Perception Is Reality

I talk about this a lot, but I can never stress it enough: You are what others perceive you as. That’s a confusing sentence so I’ll word it differently… Who you are is not what you think you are, it is actually what people perceive of you. So I may think I am a nice guy, but if my friends, my family, and new acquaintances say that I’m kind of a jerk, than I am actually a jerk.

If you want to communicate something to people through your words, your body language, and your actions, make sure you keep in mind their perspective. If you don’t, you are eventually bound for a rude awakening. Save yourself the trouble and open your eyes now.

The Shadow Proves The Sunshine

I love the band Switchfoot. They amaze me. They have a song called “The Shadow Proves The Sunshine”. You should listen to it. It’s been one of my favorite songs for the last 7 years. It never gets old to me.

I love the metaphor that the song portrays. You see, we all have shadows in our lives. We have so many things go terribly wrong around us. Even worse, things go wrong inside of us as well. There have been so many times when useless depressing thoughts just consume me. But in life you need those shadows, those dark times, to make the good times feel so good. It’s that contrast that allows us to truly feel… alive. We need the bad times to show us how wonderful the good times can be. Our shadows prove our sunshine.

Think about it: If you always had it your way, how would you really know what “good” feels like? We’d be stuck in Pleasantville wishing for true reality. We’d be numb. If you always had sunshine, you wouldn’t know what sunshine really is because you wouldn’t have anything to compare it to! For example, my cousins live in Hawaii. When I visited them, I asked them, “How good does it feel to live in paradise?” They say, “It’s alright I guess. We really don’t have anything else to compare it to.” They live in paradise but they aren’t truly enjoying it because it’s all they’ve ever known. You can’t have good thoughts and good experiences all the time. Believe me, you wouldn’t want it that way.

We need those bad times to grow, and to show us how great the good times truly are.

In your life, the shadow proves the sunshine.

Find Inspiration, Then Go For It

What am I supposed to do with my life? Go to college? Travel the country? Find a career with a salary? What should I do!

I think most of us ask ourselves this question often. The answer comes from another question: What makes me feel inspired? This is something you really need to find out about yourself. What do you love to do? What comes naturally to you?

I love writing music. But I also love crunching numbers. When I am bored, I add and multiply different numbers in my head. Seriously. Like for example, I just saw Blink 182 play in front of 20,000 people. I then went on their website and saw they had about 40 tour dates. I realized that they are playing to 800,000 people this summer! That is about 1 in every 400 people in America. That is insane! If I wasn’t in a band, I wouldn’t mind being a mathematician. Weird right?

The point is that it doesn’t matter what you love, as long as you realize you love it! And then you go for it. By “Go for it”, I mean pursue it somehow. Look for a job, a college, another person who has the same inspirations you have. Don’t sell yourself short and follow a path that you don’t believe in. Don’t do it. Work hard to find what inspires you. Then work hard to follow your inspirations. I doubt you will regret it. I know that I haven’t yet.

Trust and Respect

Many of us have trouble giving others trust and respect. However, trust and respect are both pinnacle in any healthy relationship with friends, families, and anyone else close to you in your life. Look at the people closest to you and ask yourself if you trust them and if your respect them. You don’t have to respect all of their actions, but you do have to respect them as people, to the best of your ability. You may ask, “What if I can’t trust or respect my friend because they have caused so many problems for me and have done nothing to earn my respect?” Well then I’d answer with this question: Why do you consider them a close friend?

Surround yourself with people you can trust and respect. I’ve met enough people out there to say that it is a very possible thing to do. Everyone makes mistakes. Understand that and let trust and respect make your relationships grow stronger.