It’s About What They Hear, Not What You Say
I’ve always been able to understand complex things, but I’d always miss the obvious. I am pretty bad with common sense. So it took me 20 years to find out one of the easiest and most important lessons of my entire life. It’s something that you should take ahold of right away because I guarantee it will help you very, very, very much.
I was taking a class on human communication last year. It taught me a lot about human learning, listening, how we talk, public speaking, cultural differences in language, and a bunch of other fun stuff. But the key lesson I learned in that class, and that year, was that when I am talking to someone, it isn’t about what I am saying, it is about what they hear. I’ll reiterate…
I always talk thinking that everyone is on the same page with me, or knows about what I am talking about. When in fact, everyone has their own agenda, their own brain, their own way of thinking, their own way of learning, and their own ideas about life, the world, themselves. So there is absolutely no way that they are interpreting what I say the way I think they would. Therefore, I have to sympathize with people and be at their level if I ever want them to understand what I am saying.
Think about everyone in your life (parents, teachers, friends, relatives) and think about every time you get mad or frustrated that they don’t understand you or your way of thinking. “Mom! You just don’t get it!” *door slam* . You always think, “They are dumb, they don’t understand, they will never get me.”
Well… the moral of today’s topic is stop blaming them because the blame is on you. Sucks right? It’s up to you and only you to communicate your thoughts in a way that someone else will understand. Think about someone who doesn’t speak English. Are you going to just keep talking to them in English and get frustrated and pissed off that they won’t understand you? I hope not because you would be considered insane, literally (look up Einstein’s definition of insanity). In the same way, don’t speak to people and get upset when they don’t understand your or see eye-to-eye with you. Understand them better first and bring it to their level. Then you will see results.
When you are communicating, the responsibility is on you my friend, not them. Deal.
